Know your mind (Your control Center)

Our personality traits show up through our mindsets. We are not our mindsets but our mindsets influence everything in our lives! And our thinking determines our mindsets. Both of which can be changed.“

–Amanda Gore

Many people are stuck in survival mode or slow sabotage, slowly destroying themselves and their relationships; this is the mindset/operational system installed by the world as it is, and because they have been lied to, misled, and conditioned not to think for themselves, they live in an unconscious bubble, constantly consuming but not taking much actual action. That is why they are unable to become more conscious and upgrade their mindset and outdated, limited, and toxic belief systems that prevent them from actually growing; because no matter what you read, watch, or hear from someone else, if your beliefs and mindset are limited, you will not actually progress and will continue to operate at the same frequency, consuming and feeding your ego out of it. 

Traumas, cultural indoctrination, and persistent consumption hinder or stop a person's development. It forces people to develop copying strategies for self-defense, which leads to the development of defective personalities and persistent repression of their genuine selves/increasing inner isolation. They get up every day only to put on a mask, keep telling themselves and other people the truth, dress, and act like someone else. It is utterly draining, and the more time you spend doing it, the worse it gets. People try to fill that void with a variety of diversionary activities, cheap pleasures, and desires, but in the long run, nothing works, and all of that disappointment, annoyance, guilt, and humiliation is seen in the way people act and look.

Here, I will try to help demystify the obscurities behind how our mindsets are formed.

First is Culture. This may seem infinitesimal but on the contrary it's effect on our minds is very significant. In this woke age we are in, most people are trying to downplay the effect of culture and try to force themselves to believe that most aspects of culture are archaic and obsolete, forgetting that from our childhood, the stories we've been told, the myths, the legends, the weird things we shouldn't do because they are abominable acts even when sometimes, there are no reasonable explanations, etc. All these sink into our subconscious and somehow form the basis for how our minds are shaped and eventually develop over time.

Another important aspect is Family background. The effect of this cannot be over emphasized. We should understand that as children, we didn’t learn what we were told, we learned by imitation. That's why in time past, when a man is about to get married, they send his kinsmen to do some research on the family of the bride and vice versa. This is because they understood that traits like kindness, humility, respect, teachability etc and on the negative side of the spectrum, aggression, bitterness, anger, disrespect, etc are all learned behaviors. Like the saying goes, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. There may be some exceptions where the child just seems to be from another world with a different kind of mindset and character traits but most times, their behaviors are just manifestations of their background. Coming from some homes, some people see the world as a battle field where everything has to be fought for, there is no room for amicable settlement, you must fight over everything. It's sad that even being entitled is a learned behavior. Some people watched their parents whine and complained about how their rich friends and relatives are never giving them help and they go into the world thinking everyone around is obligated to share the proceeds of their hunt with them forgetting that this world is a jungle. These are just some easily relatable examples, on a more research based approach, expectations and feedback from parents shape a child's beliefs about the malleability or fixedness of their abilities. Researchers discovered that complimenting children on their abilities or intelligence can result in a fixed mindset. Children with a fixed mindset are afraid of difficult tasks that will lead to negative assessments of their abilities. They see challenges as threats, which leads to avoidance or more undesirable behaviors such as cheating. Parents and teachers should praise a child's process, effort, strategies, perseverance, focus, or improvement rather than intelligence or innate talent. "You worked really hard," rather than "you're so smart," is more likely to foster a growth mindset. Children with a growth mindset are more motivated and seek out new challenges, and they are more likely to succeed academically.

Association:

 Permit me to cite from the holy book [the bible] to simply and clearly buttress this point. It says in 1 Corinthians 15:33 Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. Another scripture in proverbs also says He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. 

 It has been discovered that groups and organizations have a dominant mindset that affects the members' views and conduct. People often present aspects of themselves in group interactions that they think the other members of the group will find valuable. Intense competition between individuals and other undesirable behaviors, such as cheating or groupthink, can result when organizations place a high importance on natural qualities like intelligence or talent. If such behavior suppresses disagreement and produces poor decision-making, the results could be disastrous. People enjoy working for companies that value growth and learning. People who adopt a growth mentality are able to overcome obstacles and failures.

Past Experiences and Traumas:

Extremely stressful circumstances that shattered your sense of security and left you feeling helpless in a hazardous environment might lead to emotional and psychological trauma. You may struggle with troubling feelings, memories, and anxiety as a result of psychological trauma. You might also experience feelings of numbness, alienation, and lack of confidence in other people.

Traumatic events frequently involve a danger to one's life or physical safety, but they can also be caused by any circumstance that makes you feel helpless and alone. Your personal emotional reaction to the event, not the objective circumstances, determines whether it qualifies as traumatic. You are more prone to experience trauma the more terrified and helpless you feel.

While anyone can experience a traumatic occurrence, your chances of being traumatized increase if you're currently under a lot of stress, have recently experienced a string of losses, or have already experienced trauma - particularly if the prior trauma happened while you were a child. Anything that interferes with a child's sense of safety can cause childhood trauma, including:

• An unstable or unsafe environment

• Separation from a parent

• Serious illness

• Intrusive medical procedures

• Sexual, physical, or verbal abuse

• Domestic violence

• Neglect

Trauma suffered as a kid can have serious and enduring effects. A sense of fear and powerlessness that persists into adulthood as a result of unresolved childhood trauma creates the conditions for additional trauma. However, even if your trauma occurred a long time ago, there are measures you can do to move past the hurt, rediscover how to connect and trust people, and reclaim your emotional balance.

Other factors that may affect how our mindsets are formed include:

● Environment 

● Exposure

● Education (not schooling)